Thoughts about being single

Dating sucks and it feels specifically hard right now. After the third time being ghosted this month (not the spooky season I wanted), I decided to take a break from dating and focus on the pros of being single. Let me tell you, there are a lot of them!

Being single has taught me how to rely on myself and develop self-love. In this relationship-centric society, it takes extra reliance and self-love to stay true to yourself and become your best ally. I have been able to explore my own identity without bounds. This has led to big realizations like that I am queer and that I want a life full of close relationships and not just focused on one romantic relationship.

I have also explored so many ways of living. I have lived in group houses, with my sister, and alone. These different living experiences have taught me more about myself, how I relate to others, and what I want for myself. And have lived in so many different places. Places that I feel excited by and drawn to. Living in D.C. fulfilled a childhood dream and solidified a value I hold of doing impactful work.  In Denver, I felt connected to the mountains and spent time with family and friends. In Portland, I got to rely on myself to make good friends, develop my skills as an artist, and live in a city that lured me with its overwhelming beauty. The ample time I have had focused on myself and what is best for me has allowed me to unshackle myself from people-pleasing tendencies and shame.

Being single has made me who I am, brave, free, and independent. I’m hopeful that one day I will meet someone I want to be in a relationship with. I hope that my future partner will have their strengths from a period of being single because I know all the power it has given me.

Being single has given me the gift of enjoying being alone, knowing I can rely on myself, and major self-trust!