Raise a glass to freedom
Freedom is my top value in life.
Freedom to me is being completely myself, feeling confident enough to go after my dreams, being able to make decisions that I feel good about, the ability to choose how, when, and who I work for, the time to pursue my dreams and hobbies, and so much more that I have yet to discover.
How freedom became important to me.
I’m a Kansas gal. I grew up in Kansas. I love the wide open spaces, the big skies, the prairie grass, and the laid-back atmosphere. The pace of life in Kansas is slow and friendly. My parents and grandparents still reside there, so it will always be a place to come home to.
Even though a part of me adores those wide open spaces, growing up in Kansas was stifling.
As in most Midwest places, there is a strictly defined norm. You can probably assume what that norm is. It’s the Christian, heteronormative, patriarchal flavor of norm. I knew the path of how my life should go from a young age. I didn’t think much about it. It was so ingrained in me the way it should all go that I didn’t even know I had a choice in it.
Here’s the path - be a good Christian girl, small, perfect, quiet, and stylish but not too attractive. Care about the male gaze and make yourself look desirable. Date boys in high school/college that care about (insert sport), math, & want to be an engineer. Go to junior college then finish up your last few years at the state university. Study something that would be a good side income and would also allow you flexibility for when you take care of your future children. Be nice, focus on pleasing the people around you, and give back to the community. Get married, move to Kansas City, buy a modest house, and live happily ever after.
I walked along this narrow path for a long period. But a part of me longed for more. I didn’t know what that more was until I started becoming friends with people who were also looking for a unique path.
I longed for independence. For people who saw me as more than sweet and nice. To travel and discover who I was and who I could become. To do what I wanted to do on my terms (this one is still difficult) and most importantly to be fully known and seen.
This is a lifelong journey but here are a few steps that I have taken/am currently taking, that have helped me to create a new and undefined path of freedom for my life.
A few tips for cultivating freedom:
Prioritizing myself.
I’m a recovering people pleaser. I used to think my life was all about how much I could give to others. Once I started getting in tune with my wants and needs my life changed drastically. Prioritizing my dreams and going after what I want has brought such a sense of freedom to my life.
Saving money for now and the future.
Financial freedom allows you to stand up for yourself and others. This is the amount that makes me feel at peace. You should find your own.
Having a $6,000 emergency fund – bare bones expenses for 6 months.
Maxing out my Roth IRA & contributing to my 401k up to my company match.
Saving for things that I value (e.g., my van build, owning a house, & travel).
Finding work that I care about.
I deeply care about doing work for a company that’s mission aligns with my values. For me, this means working for companies that have a female CEO and a team of people who genuinely care for one another. If I am forced to work in this capitalistic society, I must do work I care about.
Cultivating community.
I surround myself with people who have similar and different dreams than my own. This reminds me that there are so many different dreams and ways of being in this world. Being surrounded by supportive friends has allowed me to feel seen and valued.
Creating freedom for others.
It’s important to strive for a world where we are all free. For me, this means giving monthly (both time and money) to organizations that I care about (e.g., planned parenthood, supportive housing non-profits, and abortion clinics).
“The truth is, no one of us can be free until everybody is free.”
– Maya Angelou
What does freedom look like in your life? What steps big and small can you take today to cultivate more freedom?